The Seven Types of “Friends” to Distance Yourself from Immediately

Dr. Liza Varvogli
3 min readSep 18, 2018


Photo by Tiraya Adam on Unsplash

Keep your distance from negative people who don’t add to the quality of your life.

Take a quick look around you! Who are the people you associate with? Your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors? Do they add more positivity to your life? Or do they contribute to a negative emotional atmosphere around you? Check out this post and see who you need to distance yourself from.

Distance Yourself from The People who:

Lie to You. That includes white lies. People who start off small and get away with it will also have no problem moving on to a bigger lie. Once trust is broken it can’t be repaired. And you don’t need to spend time or mental energy wondering and checking if the other person is lying again.

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Tell You What to Do. Advice getting is a good thing when you ask for advice. What if it comes unsolicited? Do you have people in your life who patronize you and try to dictate what you need to do in terms of your looks, romantic life, career, whatever? Do yourself a favor and distance yourself from those people. They don’t add anything to your life other than blame and negativity. Without them, you will get an instant lift and be better able to make good decisions.

Disrespect You. That’s a subtle one, but it still hurts. People who don’t listen to you, interrupt, talk at you rather than with you, don’t ask for your opinion and gossip behind your back show disrespectful behavior. They may try to hide it, coax you, or sugarcoat it, but the bottom line is the same-they don’t respect you.

Are contagiously pessimistic. Seriously. There are these people who always worry, see the dark side of things, and think of the worst possible outcome. The “yes, but” people have the tendency to slow down or even stop you from achieving your goals and chasing your dreams. Is it worth it?

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Judge you. Constructive feedback is what we all need from friends, family, and important people in our lives. That’s the road to self-improvement. But what about the people who constantly judge you? Who measure you against an imaginary, impossible standard? The people who don’t accept you for who you are. Just say goodbye and leave them outside your life.

Use You. Then there’s this category of people who use you, in subtle and not so subtle ways; the person who calls you when they want something, the person who gets as much (time, encouragement, support) as they can get from you but gives but as little as possible, the “friend” who criticizes you constantly and disappear when you have a crisis or have a need… Do you recognize this person? Just keep a safe distance from them so their behavior won’t hurt you and their negativity won’t spill into your life.

Put You Down. These are the “friends” who are not happy for your success and accomplishments. They minimize your achievements and maximize your mistakes. You start telling them your story and in the next sentence it becomes “all about me,” as they start relating their relevant story or experience, disregarding what you are saying. They are the center of their universe and simply there’s no place for other people. Don’t take it personally but, at the same time, don’t try to change them. They don’t get it. Simply walk away from these so-called friends and make new ones.




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Dr. Liza Varvogli

Ph.D. in Psychology| Harvard-trained| Psychotherapist| Stress Management Professor|Parenting & Relationships Expert|Meditator|Positive thinker|Solution-oriented