Dear Nancy, first of all I would like to thank you for stopping bu and commenting. Second of all, if I may, allow me to tell you that you don’t need to feel like an idiot. you are obviously a smart person. You need to take into account that sometimes we need time to think, assess a situation, even make a move in the right direction. In retrospect it’s always clear what we should have done in the first place, but when we are in this “first place,” that is not having the experience we accumulate later, as in your 25 years of marriage, we are not sure what’s the right thing for us to do. Keep the good feelings, stay positive, and enjoy your life! Best, Liza