BRING OUT YOUR AMAZING SELF
“Know Thyself” was written over the portal of the antique world. Over the portal of the new world, “Be Thyself” shall be written. ~ Oscar Wilde
Stop a simple habit and observe what happens. If you are a coffee person, instead of drinking your usual morning cup, choose tea or juice instead. Observe yourself: what’s your reaction when you take the first sip? How does your body take it? What are some of your thoughts? How do you feel?
Choose a poem every day for a week. Yeas, seriously. Do something different, after all. Change cannot come by doing the same thing in the same way. So, search up a poem. Read it aloud. Listen to the words. Follow the images. What personal meaning do these words have for you?
Notice some tasks that you avoid regularly. What are they? What do they involve? Is there a pattern you can see? It may be that you are avoiding specific tasks because you don’t feel comfortable with the situation- you may not have or think that you don’t have the skills and abilities to perform successfully.
Observe your emotions and label them accurately. Are you usually just happy, mad, or sad? What’s the feeling you feel right now? How many different emotions did you feel in your day yesterday? Being able to label your emotions accurately helps you understand yourself better and increases your emotional intelligence. Pausing to notice your feelings gives you the extra space you need to process some basic emotional information before responding to the situation. You can choose how to respond to what’s happening inside and around you, rather than be swept by strong feelings.
You can use the Plutchik Wheel of Emotions to expand your emotional vocabulary.
Choose a positive word for the day. When you wake up and before getting up, think of a positive word that resonates with you. It could be anything, an abstract concept or a specific thing. What are some ways that you can incorporate this positive word in your day? How can you let the positivity seep through your routine? Maybe your positive word was “smile.” You can smile more, you can go through pictures of yourself smiling, you can make a friend smile by complimenting them or calling them on the phone to say “hi,” or you can invest in a teeth-whitening kit! Sky is the limit.
Learn to listen to your inner conflict. Most people have some kind of inner conflict, ranging from the mundane stuff, such as getting a caramel latte or sticking to a plain black coffee, to the more complex and difficult, such as decisions about your job, your romantic commitment, etc. And, again, most people either jump to defend their initial choice (which may or may not be rational) or they switch to self-defeat mode, where they accuse themselves of being wrong, incompetent, ineffective, and the like. Meaning that they focus on the negative. Instead, choose to listen to your inner conflict. What’s the issue at stake? What’s your wish? What does your gut feeling tell you to do? What about your reason? Sit with yourself and listen without judging. Remember that sometimes you need to take a risk, as there’s not an absolutely right or wrong decision. Go with what you think is the best for you.
Write down three accomplishments of yours. Don’t tell me there’s nothing in this department. There is something, probably many things, that you choose not to pay attention to. Your accomplishment can be anything, no matter how small. Actually, it may be “the smaller the better,” in the sense that you will force yourself to see what you have done that’s worth noticing. And truly, it doesn’t have to be going on top of mount Everest. Whatever it was you carried out, go under the surface-what’s really underneath your accomplishments? What ability, skill, strength, talent, desire, is on the foundation of your accomplishment? When you pinpoint it, make sure you use it intentionally on a daily basis.
Realize that you don’t have to prove yourself. Pay attention to these two types of thinking: “If I do X, then that’s proof that I am Y and that means that this Z good thing will happen,” or, conversely, “If I don’t do X, then that’s proof that I am not Y and that means that this Z bad thing will happen.” What do they have in common? They are destructive and hindering your progress. Yes, you may want to accomplish things and “prove” that you did this or that, but that’s not a proof of your value. Everyone has value. Everyone is worthwhile. It would be a shame to judge ourselves and others blindly based on accomplishments. After all, the person who tried and failed has a lot more personal value and certainly more values than the person who cheated in order to succeed. It’s who you are as a person that defines you, not what you did or didn’t do.
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Warmly,
Liza
